Holy Motherfucking Shit. The Battle of the Bulge in my Spine--Grover Edition: Part One

Thursday, May 25, 2017 | 0 Comment(s)

(If you go back in the archives to Sept. 1, 2010, you can read a number of pieces regarding my personal battle with back issues, the first of which shares its title with this post.

Today was the first day in a week that I didn't get woken up by the vet calling to give me an update on the status of Grover, my power animal and companion.

Hi, I'm Grover. This is me.

In truth, I was only woken up by the call the first morning.

If you are unfortunate enough to have a serious veterinary medical emergency in the greater (and I do mean greater) Massachusetts area, you will be directed to the Massachusetts Veterinary Referral Hospital. And, as hospitals go -- not animal hospitals mind you -- but all hospitals, this 24-hour facility is the bomb. It is the bee knees -- which, for the record, they could probably fix.  They have three staff neurosurgeons, an MRI machine, and surgical facilities. This is all comforting information to be told when your pup's back legs randomly stop functioning properly at 4pm on a Monday afternoon.

Once your pet is admitted to the Vet Hospital, the doctors assigned to your case calls you, religiously, both after morning rounds and again in the late afternoon/evening. In my experience, when your pet is gone for a week, as Grover was, these calls become your everything. These calls are the reason you set your alarm for wayyyyyy earlier than you need to wake up, in order to be cognizant when Dr. Silver calls and tells you that while the surgery went well, Grover is now paralyzed from the midsection back. She will tell you that, while frustrating, this is normal in about 20% of cases.

Of course, all you will be able to picture is your best friend (wife excluded) with a limp back end and those longing lonely eyes staring up at you confused. The puppy you promised you would take care of and love forever is paralyzed. You'll tell Dr. Silver that you are coming to visit, 5 hour trip be damned.

Dr. Silver will tell you in a calm knowing tone that while you can, of course, visit your pet at any time, they are trying to keep Grover as immobile as possible right now, and if I think he would get excited and wiggly seeing me, then it is probably best to just wait until he has gotten better before coming to see him.