The Stupid Who Cried "Hack!"

Tuesday, February 11, 2014 | 0 Comment(s)

I think there is a misconception about both what a "hacker" is, and more importantly what he or she does.

Ok, perhaps people do get the first part.  Hackers utilize a combination of technology and skill to infiltrate foreign computers.  That's actually pretty straightforward.  They go in their computers and come out your computer.

Back in the days of AOL, a lot of these so-called hackers were just kids screwing around trying to figure out how to make the internet work for them.  Most of these kids either became multi-millionaires with the knowledge they acquired, or went to college and got the hell out of their parents' attic.

That's not what hacking is anymore.  Hacking is serious business.  Hacking has led to the NSA listening to civilian cell phone conversations, stolen identities, and wiped out bank accounts. Governments have their own hackers on payroll, both in an attempt to steal foreign governments' information and to protect against cyber-attacks domestically.  Hacking is serious f'ing business.

Here is what hacking ISN'T! True hackers aren't taking serious personal risk in order to break into a semi-famous person's twitter account to say racist shit.  Oh wait, are you President Obama?  The Associated Press? You aren't?  Then yah, you weren't hacked. And yet every time I hear the word 'hacker' on the TV or the radio it is in reference to someone's twitter account spouting 140 characters of #IwishIhadntsentthat.  Without fail, the next day the Russian torch bearer, Justin Bieber, Lil Wayne, or Glen Beck all come out with statements saying that those vicious horrible uninformed bits of vitriol they typed yesterday were the result of outside forces infiltrating their online identities.

Look, I'm not saying it doesn't happen . . .
And yet the remarks always seem totally inline with the offline personalities of these fecal-specimens that put the twit in twitter.  Listen up people, nobody cares about any one of you enough to hack your twitter account.  I know that this is ego-busting and that the reality you create for yourselves won't allow you to fully comprehend what makes your presumptions of innocence so ludicrous, but please gift me this opportunity to say it again.  Universally speaking, none of you are important, interesting, or powerful enough to warrant the unsolicited attention you claim strangers are thrusting upon you.  And really, that's just a fancy way of saying that no one cares about you that much.

It was supposed to read, "Personal Integrity Compromised"
Oh Glen, which of your 80-year-old listeners do you think is clickidity-clacking in the back room of their nursing facility, trying to alternately defame you or praise you as some sort of troll demi-god by unleashing your inner monologue unfettered to the world through your twitter handle.  Lil Wayne, same question except substitute in your similarly non-computer programing heavy fan base.

These people I speak of, and please take a minute to ponder exactly how vast, and growing, this subsection of humanity is, these people, like the boy who cried wolf are the stupid who cried hack.  Or, perhaps more to the point, they all are confusing "hacking" with "taking personal responsibility."

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