2 Points of Clarification for All My ReReaders

Saturday, July 30, 2011 | 5 Comment(s)

Two points I feel I need to clarify, as mini versions of conversations related to these points seem to happen more and more.

Point #1.  Please don’t be embarrassed by, shy about, or otherwise insecure about talking to me about reading my blog.

Now I recognize that this particular post pertains mostly to those of you (of you heroes with your beautiful pictures under the Followers moniker) who both read this blog and know me in some form in real life.  I don’t want those of you who haven’t been able to come say hi yet (and that how I see you peeps) to feel as if you are less than or not as important.  The truth is you are much MORE important in that developing a readership can only grow so far if everyone reading has your same last name. 

So hear me out nonetheless.  Reading my blog is not “stalking me.”  Stalking me is hiding under my porch snapped hi res photos of me through our window.  If this is what you are doing, it is mostly your own problem and I wish you would have just said something so I could have worked out or given you my good side or whatev. 

Reading my blog is the antithesis of this.  I am honored to have anyone read my ranting.  And you don’t need to hesitate to put a follow on me either.  It doesn’t matter if we went to high school together (Jamie) or went to college together (Selena) or if you just see me from time to time on the island (Eric) . . . it’s a high compliment, to me, when people spend any amount of their precious time reading my scratches.   So don’t apologize.  You don’t have to.  This public blog is not my diary.  You didn’t reach between the sheets of my childhood bed to pull out the drawn-on padlocked writing tablet (before tablet meant a computer) which served as my diary/the-girls-i-like repository--along with a few select porno mags (before they invented the internet for porn).  

You clicked on a link I published.  We are more than all good.  No shame factor here.  And that no shame factor beings us to Point #2.

Point #2: Please don’t be embarrassed by, shy about, or otherwise insecure about about NOT reading my blog.

Now I’m not encouraging this.  And I realize that in some sense, writing “don’t worry about not reading the blog,” on the blog, is a fools errand.  But I had to give both sides of the story.  Especially because this particular worry makes more sense.  I mean, I DO want everyone to read me.  But im a huge narcissist.  Admittedly.  If you did whatever I wanted my friends would probably end up yoked to a sled like those ubiquitous reindeer.  On Brian and Harvey, on Janis and Kristen . . . 

You get the idea.  But I simply can’t even pretend to muster up offense at someone not dedicating themselves to my writing.  I mean, even the thought is, like, obviously bizarro riDONKulous.  But take a deep breath.  I too have experienced the business of life.  Hell, I hardly have time to read the few blogs I manage to peruse.  Often times the decision is one of reading others blogs or writing my own, and as I’ve already made clear, im a narcissist.

The moral of these stories . . . Whether you read or not, I will not be offended.  But please . . . either way . . . support my crushing self-absorption by increasing the self love meter, found under the “Follow” button to the right. 

I am as needy as I am conceited.  

ps.  do you like "rereaders" as a name for peeps who dig this blog?  i think i do. i think i like it a lot.


  1. Oh pumpkin, it never even crossed my mind to think of reading your blog as stalking you. Perhaps because I stand across your street late at night with an untraviolet night vision scope and super-zoom camera trained on your windows. That's stalking. Your blog--well, you posted the link on facebook. I took that as an invite. One might question how we got linked on facebook--that might have originally been part of my stalking campaign, but it's been so long now I don't recall. But I think reading your blog communicates nothing further than "I think you're an interesting/amusing person and I like you."

    Could you wear the light blue boxers tonight? They show up better in the photos.

    (This is John--I don't think the commenting tool is going to authenticate/identify me corrrectly ever again)

  2. @Mr. Blickford: John who? i keed. i keed. I can honestly say that, even being born on Halloween, you are still the only one who calls me pumpkin. And i can totally wear the boxers, cept your gonna need a realllll quality lens to shoot me all the way down on the island.

  3. brother -
    in your last comment, "you're gonna need a reallll quality lens to shoot me all the way down on the island" sounds like a euphemism for having a huge penis.

  4. Yo-Yo -- I'm a narcacist too. I'll read your blog more of you write more about my awesomeness. It's pretty easy so I'm sure you can handle it with minimal effort.

    Oh, who am I kidding. I'll read anyway, just to double check to see if your new post is about me. So.... Don't delay :)

    Btw - Maytal, Avi and Orly hope to MEET you one day!!

  5. @slowMo youre needy like me too! ps. pretty sure i've met maytal. <3