Recent adventures.
Ok--Im starting with
the most frivolous because Im so psyched about it. Up here in japan--where I am--its ski country. There are
those that ski and those that don’t live here. And last week I bought not one but 2 pairs of skis. Ok--so one was only 40 bucks and used
(for rock skis til the snow gets good) but the other pair----mmmmmmmm-- LOVE
THEM. Im so happy that I finally
got off my somewhat nerotic ass and made a purchase. This recent acquisition has led me to fits of almost
comatose-like starring at the clouds begging them to deliver their white nectar
upon me. Along with this purchase
I also acquire . . .. . . BEDDING.
im officially out of the sleeping bag and into the sheets and acomforter. Only took me a month and a half --go
matt go.
But now sad news--at
the time of my first email I believe you were introduced to my
car---Carrdvark. The Honda civic
shuttle that looked like an aardvark and made pokeman like sounds. Well--One month in and an inspection
later and I receive this CLASSIC email from the mechanic (and the guy I bought
it from): “Please no more driving the car. the case
will be a serious accident in the future.
The steering, braking and suspension system are important.” awesome email --simple awesome--so
caardvark is dead and im tooling around in a loaner Toyota tercel which im not
naming because I will hopefully soon have a new car. And then ill tell you all
about it. Cars--cyclical--like a circle --they go around.
*break*
ok--where to begin. Ahh yes--school lunch --the best place of all. Now first off school lunch is the most
randomly priced thing ever. Today
it was 233 yen (about 2 dollars) .
usually its thereabouts but NEVER NEVER a round number. 256, 301, 273--I just don’t get it. Today for lunch I had Chinese dumplings
with kim chi and testicle soup.
Oops. Did I say testicle
soup--I mean THREE testicle soup.
I would love to give you all the witty punch line where I tell you what
the testi sized balls in my soup were . .
(editors note: since then I have surmised these were quail eggs). . But
even in front of a captive 4th grade audience there wasn’t no way that shit was
going into my mouth. Im all for
international understanding, but I had to take a firm george bush like stand on
that one (theres my political commentary for this email).
*break*
Tomorrow is the
English speech contest. Students from every middle school around here send
representatives to give speechs (7 and 8th graders read the ones from a book--9th
graders write their own) and I, yes, me, gets to be the lucky
judge---whoooooopie. That means
over the past month each individual school has tried to find ways to make me
judge their individual school speeches -pick my favorite kid et al., give themselves a leg up -- this contest has more corruption than
the mob. Its nutty and funny and
sad and im in the direct center of it.
Wish me luck.
A bit about the
education down hear. The kids bow
before every class--I like that bit--and after that its a crap shoot. Generally I think the biggest variable
is the homeroom teacher--ESPECIALLY in elementary school. Ive had classes where the kid were
SOOOOOO excited to learn English and participated and were genki (energetic)
and generally speaking, their teacher is also interested in English. Ive also had classes that were totally
asleep.--usually their teacher can be found correcting papers in the back of
the room not giving a shit. And worst of all the teachers who exert no
authority over there kids--those kids run rampant and punch (especially in the
private areas) and do the "kancho" (this is totally true) where they put their hands together like
there was a pretend gun and try to jam their fingers up your butt. I have learned to grow eyes in the back
of my head--they always told us that school was a prison--they didn't know how
right they were. I had one such
class like this on Monday--ive never wanted to start swinging away at kids more
in my life--these 2nd graders hit me continuously for 40 mins and their 50 some
year old teacher just sat there ineffectually trying to get a little quiet
which never came--they totally didn't respect her and took it out on me. I only escaped after class by enlisting
some 6th graders to round up the 2nd graders that wouldn't stop pummeling me
and throw them out of the room--they saved me (and they didn't seem to mind
throwing the little kids around either).
I felt like a mob boss--I liked it . ps --after that class I seriously weighed the merits of
smoking cigarettes. Which many of
the teachers do by the way--in front of the students even. And apparently Gunma is better than
most places.
*break*
Many have also asked
for an update on the toilet situation.
Well--ive got the whole squatting thing DOWN--sadly--but the new
challenge is wiping. In that
position its almost impossible to wipe front to back, and since only one male I
know wipes back to front, im still left figuring it out. It also puzzles me what woman do--maybe
when my Japanese gets better I can ask people these questions--im sure they’ll
love it almost as much as you guys enjoy hearing about it.
No comments:
Post a Comment