Behold!!! The Nike "What-the-dunks." In my opinion, the most beautiful shoes I have ever seen. And I am deadly serious. It looks like someone crawled into my brain, took all my shoe design ideas, and made these shoes. Because, if I were to design a pair of shoes, you better believe that i would pile every single one of those good ideas into that single pair. And I wouldn't care that the shoes looked nothing like each other. All the better! Hell, my socks never matched in high school, I don't see why my shoes have to match in my 30's. I mean, these bad boys have: tie dye, logos, numbers, pavement patterns, raincoat patterns, plaid, and my very favorite thing, the backs. Look at the genius:

Not only do they say different things, but those linings are completely different materials and the color combos are killer. Brilliant.

But there has to be a punch line. You just know there does. In this case, before Andrew emailed Corgi for me, we did a quick internet search to see the going rate of these bad boys.

Drumroll . . . $1000-$1200. Jigga-WHAT! Full-stop. Record needle scratches off the record.

That's insane. I mean that's like Carrie Bradshaw insane. I guess Nike should hire me to design shoes, cause my soul's shoes are like, wicked friggin expensive.

Corgi wrote back that he'd gotten one offer of around $600 for the pair. Probably could get them for around that price. And if I'm being honest, for about 30 seconds I actually contemplated buying a $600 dollar pair of shoes . . .

But let's face it. Even a grad student can't rationalize spending a month's rent on a pair of shoes (though I did drop that kinda cash on 2001 Red Sox World Series Tickets [totally worth it]). So, if there are any millionaire philanthropist blog fans, now you know what to get me for my . . . well . . . for my anything.