What's Cooler than Cool: Ice Cold

Tuesday, January 18, 2011 | 3 Comment(s)

Today was an ice storm.  Cause that what happened.  Because we were warned that it was coming, I went out early to the pharmacy to get what i needed (aka. toilet paper).

As I'm waiting for a prescription to be filled, an elderly woman with what i can only call a "snow cane" was in front of me.  (the snow cane looked like a regular cane with a panel of astro-turf like grip at the bottom).  None of this was the crazy thing that happened, however.  Next, as the woman is meanderingly checking out, she looks down and sees some electric thermometers.  She says, "oh, and are these some thermometers?  I'll take one of those."  Now my first thought is that only the elderly see thermometers as impulse buy fodder at the check-out.  And before i could have a second thought, the elderly woman was re-engaging the check out girl (this checkout took about 15 minutes all together): "Are these the only thermometers you got?  Where are the others."  The checkout girl was more than gracious as she prepared to show the woman the thermometer isle.  "What kind of thermometer are you looking for?"  A totally appropriate question.

She replies, "I need one that works even if the person isn't breathing.  Like in the armpit."

Let's count the problems with this statement out:

1.  If the person/animal whose temperature needs to be taken isn't breathing, taking his/her temperature is NOT the first area of concern.

2.  Is this a Kathy Bates incident.  Does this puttering old lass have a dungeon at home where she keeps her victims tied up.

3.  Does she need their temperatures cause she's making a stew out of them?

I take a step back.  What is craziest to me is that at least 3 pharmacy workers heard this remark and none showed any spark of concern.  Having worked in a pharmacy myself, I understand how the monotony of life behind the counter can dull your senses, but i'm pretty sure this would at least have gotten a sidelong comment.

I mean, i remarked out loud, "if it's not breathing, does it matter what kind of thermometer it is?"

People either didn't hear me or pretended not to hear me.   You all woulda laughed .  .  .  right? 


  1. If I'm reading this correctly, I'm mainly interested in this prescription you are apparently getting filled for toilet paper. I bet that is some soft-ass TP.

  2. @MattyFree 1 prescription. 32 rolls of toilet paper. majority rules. and you KNOW the brand already. non-negotiable.