Back to the Locker Room: Back to My Roots

Monday, June 28, 2010 | 8 Comment(s)

Some of you may remember a series on did on the blog called "The Five People You Meet When You Go into the Men's Locker Room."  If you haven't read them, you can find them over on the right in the archives.  Long story short, swimming is (one) of my exercises of choice, and the things i encounter in and around the pool area are constant blog fodder.  So, instead of resisting the urge, I'm going to continue to fill you in on recent happenings in the gym.

So, one thing that has really started to piss me off is this guy.  He still leaves his gross ass bathing suit hanging there on the outside of the locker.  And i'm over this craziness.  I spent a lot of time trying to find a solution that A) didn't directly implicate me  B) wasn't overly harsh (i mean, he's not poisoning children after all) C) gets my point across.  Here's what I have come up with:

One of my least favorite things to do is take knots out of shoes, pant strings, etc.  I decided that i would bite the bullet and touch this gross thing, in order to be the change i want to see in the world.  A few days ago, after my swim, i pulled a nice tight knot into one of his draw strings.  The next day, I pulled one into the other string.  Today (I hadn't swum since last Wednesday), I pulled a third knot in.  I am a Social Psychologist after all, and the opportunity for me to have a little fun with this seemed necessary.  Here are the rules as i see them (and they are admittedly loose and subject to immediate change.)

1. Only one knot per visit.  So if he keeps pullin' em out, i'll just keep puttin em in.  But gradually.
2. I don't pull knots on top of other knots (to make a sorta mega-knot)--all knots get their own space on the wire.

And that's about it.  I'm actually pretty interested in how long this continues on for.  I mean, from his perspective, do you really start thinking someone is tying knots in your bathing suit?  Or i guess, more accurately, the question is, WHEN does one start thinking that someone is tying knots in their bathing suit.  We will all get to find out together!  Current knot count:  3.

stay tuned for more locker room fun coming soon. . .


  1. can you reassure me that you wash your hands thoroughly after touching that?

  2. Perhaps he doesn't share your aversion to knots. Is it possible that he's not even noticing at all?

    And before I got all skeezy on his skivvies, I'd wanna see him. Maybe he's hot!

  3. coming along nicely your evil genius training is. mmhmmmm,

  4. Nice story. :) Next you should do something with super glue.
    I gave you a blog award, you can find it over at
    (I'm not really sure the proper protocol on all this, but I have a feeling you little toe will fall off if you don't pass it on or something...)

  5. @Melissa: with soap!

    @John: It is possible he doesn't mind knots. i AM however, pulling them in pretty tightly. I think the whole point is that while he may not notice 1, 2, or 3 knots, when your bathing suit has 25 knots all up and down it, i think he'll notice. And, additionally, i've seen him. Not particularly attractive, but VERY particularly hairy. Mostly on his back.

    @Mei: Yippee!! My second award! I promise to respond to it (and my first award come to think of it) when i go on vacation on July 9th. And as far as the super glue goes--that seems a little harsh considering he hasn't really hurt anyone.

  6. as a swimmer in my former life, i feel confident when i say, well done.

  7. ha ha this sounds like a very interesting/ exciting experiment

  8. Nice. My money's on nine knots total. I'm following you now (not in a creepy manner, promise) so keep us posted.