Sugar Is My Favorite Food Group

Wednesday, June 9, 2010 | 1 Comment(s)

[All the masturbation haikus, including my award-winner!, can be found here.]

Turns out, I will eat frosting off of just about anything.

My gf's birthday was this past weekend and, per her semi-subtle request, I got her a mint-chocolate cake with fudge drizzle and peanut butter cups on top. It was . . . heavenly. The farm/grocery store down the street makes great cakes, and I think the trick is that their frosting is both sugary enough that it coats your entire mouth with a thin film of sucrose, but it has enough flavor and taste to not come off "fake" or like eating pure sugar. As my description shows, I have no idea how this happens. Perhaps there is some high quality sugar out there that i don't know about that makes all the difference. I doubt it though. Cause, especially being born on Halloween, I have eaten quite a bit of sugar. Some might even say, sugar is my favorite.

Anyway, we had a bunch of people over for the birthday party and BBQ'd and beered and had a wonderful ol time. When the event was over, there were portions of half eaten pieces of cake all over our house and porch. Over the next 2 days of cleaning/recovering, I would say I ate some frosting off of about 87% of the cake plates lying around. It's gross. It's disgusting. But it tastes so damn good. My taste buds don't care that the other side of the slice is half eaten. They care about that sweet yummy frosting goodness.

As i was on this mission to contract herpes from cake, I started wondering what I wouldn't eat cake off of in my house. I'd eat it off the Wii. I'd eat it off the carpet, couch, chair, desk, or bed. I've already eaten it off the oven. I think the windowsill is where i draw the line. Only because in our house the windowsill is where all of the dust in our house seems to collect. And dusty cake . . . i mean come on . . . that's so bush league.

But if we'd cleaned recently . . . i'd totally rock frosting off the sill.

(i think "off the sill" should be a new term--like-- 'at first i was a little shy talking to strangers, but then i just said "fuck it" and went off the sill. After that, they couldn't shut me up.')
my life was incomplete before i found this picture online

1 comment:

  1. This is ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS! We discussed around the office and determined we would also eat cake off of a variety of surfaces. We draw the line at the floor though. It sounds like you don't have pets. We do, and our dog likes to booty scoot... Gross. Thanks for the laugh.