Losing My Tears
i used to cry all the time.
Back when every question was a path yet to be discovered
and all of my effects had definable causes.
Don't get me wrong,
i still ball.
But not all the time.
Nowadays the tears have to make it through my knowledge, my ability, my perspective, my "better judgment".
My adulthood.
And once it manages past all the superficial reasoning i set out for keeping it together,
i can cry like a withering stem.
Because it's always the child inside us doin' the cryin'.
Always.
And that's a good thing.
Because that kid has no excuses to give for the mistreatment, the anger, the unfairness, the helplessness.
of adulthood.
and while i love my inner child for the laughter,
i need him for the tears.
<3 my psychiatrist told me to try to appreciate that the stroke took away my emotional regulation-- that right now it's more genuine and more childlike without that "hardened" adult filter. Love.
ReplyDelete@Mel. what stroke? kidding. kind of puts all that competitive drive in perspective huh? Love..
ReplyDeleteawwwww.
ReplyDelete