Either the worlds gone mad, or i am.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011 | 2 Comment(s)

Today i got a parking warning.  What is a parking warning, you ask?  It looks just like a university issued parking ticket (same little yellow sleeve and everything), only on the piece of receipt paper, instead of a fee, it read, "this is a warning."

"A warning for what," I though to myself as i stood beside my car, located in the parking lot for which i have a pass.  It was for "failure to display parking pass."  The best part, the part which made me actually laugh out loud, was that at the bottom of the warning the attendant had typed in my parking pass info (which i can only imagine they read off the pass).

Now i don't know whats going on.  I drive straight to the parking services office.  I show them the warning.  "It only a warning," the woman there says.  "yes, i reply, but a warning against doing what."  She admits that that is a very good question.  I appreciate her honesty.  A minute later the tall be speckled parking manager comes around the corner.  He comes around the corner like a man who usually is coming around the corner to give the final word on some bad news like, "we towed your car" or "we lost the keys to the car-boot".

to me he just, "let's take a look at it."  And a few moments later we are both staring at my pass, at the warning, and at the matching numbers.  Now he is shaking his head.  That makes me feel better than anything.  "You're good," he says.  And he says it with a tone that says, "i have no friggin clue why this yahoo decided to write you a ticket."

I suspect that the attendant probably didn't see the pass at first, started writing the ticket, saw the pass, and turned the ticket into a warning.  In the panic of having an extra slip of meaningless paper, he/she sleeved it in yellow and put it on my car anyway.  Wash, rinse, repeat.

I think i came up with a way to make millions off of this blog, and all id have to do is stop writing about the things i want to write about.  And since that isn't happening, i'm giving the idea away for a small slice of any profits made off of its use.  copy-written.

In this lucrative blog, what i spend my posts doing, is making funny and social relevant commentary on the random ads that appear in and around my posts.  Ok, maybe i just make fun of them in a witty way.  Ooooooor, maybe i show how their corporate greed is a building block of the failure of the modern american dream.  Ok, probably mostly jokes.

Anyways.  Because i am so hilarious and insightful, other advertisers will fight for the future ad space around my oh so magnetic words, and soon there will be massive bidding wars just to advertise near me so that i might skewer their products in a visible way that will boost sales.

Is this the definition of selling out?


  1. omg just post catching up and i would like to request a monthly highlight on "things fundamentally going wrong at umass" as well as "things overall going wrong at umass..."

    laughing so hard i can't breath. the view from your office. the parking warning. it is all so wrong. you are sitting on a million dollar goldmine--umass, the way we all try to see it.

    i need to go back to work. i am reading off of moodle. moodle is the new spark and the big difference is that it is actually worse.

  2. @Anonomom. I can't believe my mom's calling me out for being a sell-out. guess that plans shot.

    @Holly. Can you believe all of this comedic gold might leave me in a mere two months. don't worry. the book is already in the works.