Those of you who follow this blog, or have been following it for awhile, know that I have done a series revolving around the people you would meet in the old UMASS men's locker room (they now have a new facility which I never use because there is no pool in the new building).  And one of the most intriguing characters from this series is the guy who hangs his nasty ass bathing suit on the outside of his locker.  Here was my last post on the subject.  If you search "locker" on the blog, you can read them all.  Long story short, in a form of experimental psychological conditioning, I began tying knots in the strings of this guys bathing suit as a type of silent protest.   The knots became plentiful, but, someone amazingly, the bathing was not moved inside the safety of his locker.

then there was a shift.  somewhere along the line i met this guy, and he turns out to be incredibly nice.  Also, bad things started happening to me . . . like . . . back surgery-- keeping me from the pool.

I am not an extremely superstitious man, but I figure there may be a grain of truth in almost anything.  And something about the connection between my sabotage of a nice person's bathing trunks (no matter how gross their display) and my own physical disintegration, gave me pause.  It paused me right into a head on collision with believing in karma.  At least I began to see the connection, and believe in the concept enough to stop.  But more straightforwardly, I stopped f'ing with this guys shit because i felt the negativity was being reflected back onto my own life.  yes, i can make even karma narcissistic.

So, you can imagine how self-important and righteously correct i felt when, upon opening my adjacent locker, I glanced over to see this:

is that a burr on your bathing suit, or are you just happy to see me!

Aaron Burr

Now, with no judgement, i can tell you that i would not have done this.  It's not that i have any line of appropriateness (full stop) regarding the use of woodland accessories in pranking someone's swim paraphernalia.

Rather, I think it would just be way too much work to transport that thing all the way to the gym.  And, i mean, making someone untie knots is funny to me and annoying to the person.   A burr in your testicles is  . . . well. . . that's actually much much funnier to me, but could cause actual pain to the subject.  I'm more subtle.

BUT, as I saw this beautiful burr-filled sight before me, I must admit that I flashed back once again to our ol' friend karma.  I stopped harassing this man's bad manners, feeling that his debt to me, personally, had been paid.  And, as i found peace and centering on this subject, that tranquility came around and sent a new plague down upon that putrid rag of clothing.  If you're going to believe in karma, even a little, i feel it best to remember that it works both ways.  Don't keep yourself down by muting your behavior so as not to cause retribution.  Remember, your inner peace should also bring hellfire and devastation down upon your enemies.

At least I'm pretty sure thats how it works.