Do Tattoos Hurt?

Wednesday, November 28, 2012 | 1 Comment(s)

I hear this question thrown around a lot.  Most of my friends have some sort of tattoo, and those who visit from say, the Midwest (generally), are often startled by the sheer ubiquitousness of tattooery here in central Massachusetts.  And, often the inroad to conversations on the subject begin with the most naive of questions, "does getting a tattoo hurt?"

Well, I sat for the second session of my octopus tattoo on my lower left leg and foot yesterday.  For five hours.  And, if i may, i would like to definitively answer the question today, while the memory of the experience is still fresh in my mind.   

Tattoos hurt.  Every single one of them.  They do, however, hurt various amounts. Like, for instances, if you get a simple, black and grey piece on your upper arm, I imagine the pain sensation would be filed under, "manageable".  The scale then grows in threshold amount depending on the size, complexity, and colors involved.  Oh, it's also just like real estate: location location location.  I don't care how simple the design, you put that outline of a rubber ducky on your upper inner thigh, and you are gonna pay for it in towel biting, grunts, and blood (and/or tears).  Another horrible place to get tattoo'd is your ankle bone.  Don't get a tattoo on your ankle bone.  It hurts like the needles are actually penetrating your skin and entering straight into some lower level of hell.  I, currently, have both of my left ankle bones tattoo'd.  Which means i twice delved into a pain that reached past searing and into a more ludicrous level of torture.  Fittingly, I broke out into uncontrollable laugher.  Truly.  The pain climbed so far past reasonable that my body reacted instinctively by guffawing at the joke of it all.  

At the five hour mark, as my tattoo artist was just putting color to the suckers on the last 3 of the 8 octo-legs, his next client walked into the doorway.  The guy was big and strong looking with huge well-defined arms.  He smiled sympathetically at me, as i lay on my front,  my achilles being violated by a needle and ink.  He tells me that he doesn't have the balls to get tattoo'd where he's watching me get tattoo'd.  I reply that i didn't realize how stupid it was until the ink was already going into my skin.  Ignorance had not been bliss in this particular case. 

My tattoo artist, obviously friends with his next client then tells me this gem as he puts the final excruciating touches on my current session:  He says, "Oh, Calvin here (Calvin being the dude i was chatting with) takes his heavy duty sleep medication before the session and he literally sleeps through it.   It's kinda weird though, tattooing someone while they are out cold . . . I don't really enjoy doing it."

Me response:  "THAT WAS AN OPTION!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I am fortunes fool once again. 

(pics to follow)

1 comment:

  1. I've tried drugging myself--didn't do anything except make me confused and sleepy while in pain. It made it more annoying because I was so very sleepy and was thinking the entire time: JUST LET ME SLEEP! STOP SLICING ME WITH THOSE HOT RAZORS! MUST NAP!