and inevitably, they can't all be there. some are missed because they live across the country and have far too many children (i kid [pun!]). Others are missed because their candles blew out long ago. Others less long ago.
as we come upon the one year anniversary of my uncle's passing, i still revel in the happy memories of the "outlaw in-law" who dazzled us with knowledge ranging from fix-it man to culinary expert.
but in order not to depress us with its cruelty, life also springs up anew, and shines it's big-eyed glory, hope, and promise of good yet to come. And when you're lucky, this life looks like this.
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| my niece Sheriff Myla |
And with this adorable cowgirl, i am transformed into the uncle i miss. I am put in the position to be the family i have lost. And i am reinvigorated.
I've also thought a great deal about the dotted line between friendship and family. The baby boomer generation defined family by blood -- or rather genetics. Descendants were paramount, outsiders secondary. Thats not how it has worked out for me. My closest friends have been around me more than 15 years, and i would gladly put my fate in their hands. I am honored to call them my family, and it would insult our relationships to pretend that they were anything less. They are the ones who rally to my side in the worst of times, and they are the same people I want around to share my best times with.
and those instances where the family you are born into happily overlap with the people you love the most, are phenomenal. however, it seems as important to recognize the people that have filled up the voids left by the imperfection of how real life families of origin actually work. the family we choose because we are driven to make ourselves feel whole. This is a time to be thankful to the family we were given, and the one who gives us everything else.
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