Black Harvey

Tuesday, October 27, 2009 | 5 Comment(s)

If you're reading this, and you don't have a hat on, put one on. I'll wait. Because i am about to BLOW YOUR MIND, and i wouldn't want little pieces of brain getting all over the place.

My father, Harvey, is the shiz, the poo, the bee's knees. Say it however you want, but he is like a father to me and I love him. Here he is from a picture I pulled off the internet. Now if I were to describe my dad here are some ways i would do it. A) My dad is white. I know this because I am white and he pulls his socks all the way up when he wears shorts. B) My dad is liberal (politically speaking). While he may get stuck in some of those "the changing of the times" discussions, he always knows he's wrong. And, for the sake of clarification, he would never think to not let gays marry or put to a Nazi mustache on Obama (I'd be floored if he didn't vote for him). Let me go about this a different way. My dad bought me a t-shirt that said "Meet the Fuckers" (a take off on the "Meet the Focker's" movie series, and pictured are George W. and The Dick Cheney.

So, at this point I will ask you a question. Have you ever wondered what you would look like if you were a different race? Well, my dad doesn't have to wonder. In a turn of events that can only be described as unbelievably world shockingly ground shatteringly crazy, a black Harvey already exists. And you may even know him.

So, I think to myself, where to find a black Harvey. And then, as if answering my question, FOX "news" broadcasts the new GOP Republican Party leader Michael Steele. Now, I no social psychologist (wait a minute, i am!) but having a black head of the Republican party is about as random as Senor Pope being Catholic. A black leader of the GOP as a response to the new black leader of the USA--genius. I mean, not transparent at all. Now I want to be clear in saying that I dislike everything about Mr. Steele with the exception of how he looks. Example why, "Steele compared stem cell research to Nazi experiments during the Holocaust."

He seems to be going out of his way to promote black stereotypes under the idea that he is bringing more black voters to the Republican Party. He calls George W. his "homeboy" and here are some videos for further enjoyment: here and here and who can resist here. All this is to say he's a douche. Butttttttt . . . here is what he looks like:
My dad's reaction? "Good looking guy.

This is improbable.
This is crazy.
This is a game changer.
My black dad is the head of the GOP.

I put it to you. What the hell am I supposed to do about this!?!?!

And now, for the finale, the side to side view:


  1. Hey matt, this is bri (matt's brother) signed in as nora (matt's brother's girlfriend). When I finished reading this post, I literally cackled like (white) dad for five minutes. You are an amazing online journaler (that is a reference to your first blog entry as, after I read this post, I read AND REREAD (another reference) your entire ouevre (or whatever that word is). I love you genius. B

  2. hey matt's brother bri. glad you enjoyed the read. why don't you show that the family genius is hereditary and sign up to follow this mf blog. M

  3. You know, it's funny. I saw the title of this before I read the post, and I immediately thought "Oh! Michael Steele, of course."

    Have you seen Jon Stewart's take on who Steele looks like? Hehehe:

  4. yes, my dad looks like the soup guy as well. So finicky.