Family Vacation Part 2: Rain On

Thursday, July 22, 2010 | 6 Comment(s)

Yesterday it rained for 27 hours straight.  No breaks.  Heavy downpour.  Flooding style.  I'm not sure what other families would do in this situation, but my family decided that it was perfect pool weather.  Sure, there was lighting "in the area."  But isn't there always.  We were unafraid.  We splashed around and looked for treasures on the bottom of the pool.  One of my favorite parts was coming shooting out of the water unexpectedly near my startled mom while making seal noises.  I'm quirky, deal with it.

Because there was so much rain, the pool was flooding.  My father and I got out the hose to drain some of the overflow out.  But that is a slow and boring process and before long my brother, father, and myself were having a cannonball/corkscrew contest by the edge of the pool, gushing water over the sides.  Pretty soon "get the water out of the pool" became the new pool game, and let me tell you, it's a fun game.  My brother and I are bouncing like human bulldozers, heavy buckets of water down to the ground below.  Much more fun than draining with the hose. 

Tonight we went out to dinner to a new restaurant that only my brother had been to before and had liked.  The food at this place was incredible, the staff was somewhere between atrocious. hilarious, and eclectic.  Our server was a no nonsense woman who also was no knowing the menu.  She comes up to our table and says, "We don't have (see searches on my mother's menu) the grouper, the shrimp, and queso."  "You don't have cheese?" I ask, stunned being that it is kind of a mexican fusion kinda cuisine.  "No, no, we don't have the queso appetizer."  Check.  I'll say this, when the first words our of your servers mouth are a list of what they don't have--and that list is too long to remember off the top of her head--it is not a good sign.

Appetizers and drinks.  I order the tuna tartar w/ avocado, which i saw on the specials sign as i walked in, and was immediately excited for.  "The what?" she says.  "The tuna tartar."  I repeat.  "Where'd you see that," she says, looking towards my menu. "I saw it on the specials sign as I walked in," I replied.

I shit you not.  She then spend the next 15 seconds trying to look over me adn down the steps towards where the special sign is, to try and verify what I'm saying is truthful.  I'm stunned.  "I don't see it" she has to balls to attempt.  I keep my composure, "I assure you I didn't just make  tuna tartar w/ avocado up out of thin air," I say.  She looks 65% convinced.  I continue, "I can go down and show you where it says it on the sign if you'd like."  I say this genially, without malice.  Even still, her bluff is called.  Mom mom interjects (thankfully), "could you just ask in the back if they have it tonight."  She agrees.  She walks back to the kitchen directly behind my chair and I clearly hear this screamed conversation.

"We got the tuna tar-tar tonight?"
"No, but the ceviche is better."

She comes back and repeats the cooks line.  There is no ceviche on the menu.  I am tired by this insanity.  I order the ceviche.

15 minutes later the apps come.  They are delicious, the server comes by and asks if we are all set, my dad asks if we could get the drinks (including water--there were no glasses currently on the table) that we had ordered simultaneously with the apps.  yikes.

Main course.  All the meals were delicious yet again.  Except the green peppers that came as a side for my meal which seemed to be prepared by soaking them in soy sause and then reducing them until they were the size of chili peppers and over half salt.  My mom had ordered the crab stuffed grouper, but because, as the server said right off the top, they didn't have grouper, she got crab-stuffed mahi instead.  The mahi was wonderful (i didn't taste it but i take my mom's word for it).  It was not, however, crap stuffed.  My mom cut into it just to be sure (perhaps they magically had infused it into the fish?  She was trying to give them the benefit of the doubt).  Here comes the kicker.

The server comes over
Mom: "Hi, I just need to say that I think this was supposed to come with crap, and I don't think they did it."
Server: "Terribly sorry, it was supposed to have crab"
Mom: "It's really wonderful though"
Server: "Just think how much better it would have been with crab stuffing."

Mouths agape. I'm not sure you can come back from that.  Back to the wall she went with brazen honesty.  Point her.  Sadly, she's still down.

Lastly, it must be mentioned publicly that my father found an unbelievable octopus while snorkeling today.  As I mentioned earlier, finding these special critters is a badge of honor in the family, and dad found a beauty today.

*not the one we saw

ps. im too tired to proof read tonight, so i apologize for typos et al.

*edit: Apparently when i am tired, "crab" and "crap" are the same thing.  Don't take this personally crab, i still love you and think you're yummy.


  1. I love when my fish is stuffed with "crap." :-) Also, wish there was a video of the cannonball contest... sounds like a lovely fam vacay!

  2. @Ari. might have cannonball pics. damn those typos for ruining my mother's meal.

  3. Okay, seriously, your blog title is hilarious.

    Also, tuna tar tar is my FAVORITE thing on earth. Especially with avocado. I even wrote about it on my first post ever. And finally, you misspelled situation in the first paragraph. If you care about that sort of stuff.


  4. @Annah I like that your name is spelled in a way that tells me how to pronounce it. i don't much care about spelling, but im also too type A to not correct it now that you pointed it out. I'm glad you're enjoying.

  5. Mom: "Hi, I just need to say that I think this was supposed to come with crap, and I don't think they did it."<---I would have said exactly that...That it was supposed to come with "crap."

    My version: "Hey, um, this is supposed to have crap in it. I see no crap in sight. I'd like my crap, please. And if I don't get my crap I won't pay you crap for this crap service and your crap attitude." I seriously would have said something along those lines.

  6. @Ms C. I think the fact that i was with my parents made me assume the role of kid. Had it been the gf and I, things might have gone down differently