Barren Forever

Friday, May 13, 2011 | 3 Comment(s)

The best part about cancelling my subscription to Newsweek is continuing to get Newsweek.  Uninterrupted in fact.  Even after the "if you don't respond to this you will have interrupted service" letter.  The next day, boom, a Newsweek with the Olsen twins on the cover (touche Newsweek).

In other news.   I am beginning to annoy myself with the amount of love i have for this dog of mine.  I mean, i am that guy (as opposed to becoming that guy).  And here is what i take from this: I'm pretty sure that i can't have kids.

Hear me out.  At this point, i'm at least pretty sure that nobody wants to see more pics/vids/more pics that i continue to show my friends . . . ad nausea.  This fact hasn't stopped, or even slowed, me from continuing to whip out my phone and brandish pic after pic of puppy excellence.

From what i can tell, kids are like 10x as cute as pups.  or at least narcissisticly, they look like their parents, so they seem 10x cuter.  Same end result . . . picpicpicpicpicpicpicpicpicpicpicpicpicpicpicpic.  And i'm not sure i can do that to all of my loved ones.  I'm not sure i can, with the foresight i have now, subject all of you good people to the level of annoyance that is me with a kid (do you think i should mention any of this to my mmf?).  I owe the world to save them from myself.

Now, i leave open the possibility that one day i will awake with the primal urge to create a smaller version of myself (ahhhh . . . i mean . . . of
mmf).  And if that feeling emerges with a concurrent and similar feeling in my partner, i will have no qualms about trying to put a little parasitic copy of myself to incubate inside my loved one.

But until that point, if that point exists, i will try to hold steady at my current level of annoyingness.  Cause there is no way i'll ever be able to stop from showing you shit like this:


  1. how do you keep your bed sheets clean? I love having my dog snuggle in with me but I have to change the sheets straight away. Maybe its because your dog has short hair.

    I dont think men actually get a primal urge for procreation, I belive that is women... scientifically speaking

  2. @muman we have a separate duvet that we put on top of our nicer one, and he stays on that. we haven't (yet) caved and let him in the bed proper.

    in terms of primal males, one might argue that men continuously have the primal urge for procreation.