Breaking the Man Code Without Even Trying

Wednesday, September 12, 2012 | 0 Comment(s)

I do not follow most cultural norms.  i know that my loyal fans can attest to this fact RE: my capitalization fluctuation.  I also say shit I really should (see 2 posts ago) and wear whatever the hell i feel like.

That is why it is so strange that I have always instinctually known to lie when asked one specific question.

That question, always posed by another adult male, is:  "Do you shave all the way down your neck?"

Now, let's be clear.  I totally shave my neck.  I mean, it's like 8 stray hairs.  I don't really see how it is a big deal.  When i did it the first time, i certainly didn't stop and think . . . i am crossing a line i cannot come back from.  I just thought, SHAVING!!!! (I was excited).  My facial hair (minus the "Amish chin-strap") has always been pretty spotty, so I figured that shaving was just the process of chopping down any trees in the forest, wherever they may lie.

But, when the first guy my age asked me, brow askance, if i shaved my neck, I immediately and emphatically replied, "NO!?!"  And make no mistake, that question mark between those exclamation points represents the reproach in my voice in response to the gall of being questioned of committing such a grotesque offense.

Frankly, it wasn't until that second that i gave it any thought at all (see "how we destroy each other's self esteem).  And perhaps, as i haven't been asked this recently, the meterosexual craze that shaved the nation reduced the abhorrent nature of the practice itself.  But somehow, admit all my norm-breaking, the animal nature of preserving my continued (non-ridiculed) survival has always known to just say no to neck shaving.

I'm glad i told you all about this.  i really feel better now.

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