Sugar Bans and the Nazi Apocalypse

Thursday, September 20, 2012 | 2 Comment(s)

So, this is a story about the news that NY State is banning sugar drinks (soda) of 16oz. or more.  Mind you, you can buy as many : as you like.  But no 22oz'ers.  And realistically, i see the two competing arguments.

On the one hand, we know, factually, that consuming that much sugar is not healthy for a human being (ESPECIALLY all in one sitting).  And while the public at large tacitly knows this, never before has legislation been put in place to actively move us away from our unhealthy norm.  This ban could set a precedent towards smaller portions and less empty caloric intake which is increasingly spreading obesity and diabetes across this country faster than "Call Me Maybe" memes.

on the other hand.  This is kinda stupid.   and crazy.  It seems like a bizarre place to assert governmental control and you end up pissing off the very people who you are helping the most.  It is a lose lose.

This issue has been most brilliantly parodied on the Daily Show as Jon Steward has held up a 22oz cup of soda and a 22 oz. cup of weed.  He then points out that only the soda is against the law.  It boggles the mind.

SO.  Today i went to the liquor store in order to grab a bottle of bourbon for my friend for his birthday. After a minute i asked for some assistance and a white haired man, about 55, came and grabbed the bottle.  As i head to the register, another man, few years younger, solidly overweight, is speaking about the ban.

Customer:  Can you believe this ban.  i mean on soda.  you know what I call those guys . . . TREE HUGGERS!

HUH?!?  I was caught by surprise.  Are the hippies behind the soda ban.  Have they been grateful deading their way toward a healthier and less fat tomorrow?  Is it the liberals?  Is this a liberal issue.  I mean, Bloomberg's a Republican.  Or a Republican independent megalomanic.  He is also super short.  Sooooooooo, would that make the law a bit more "not liberal",  and just a stupid (or brilliant) idea?

If only the conversation had ended there.  But it never does, does it.  Nope.  The store owner replied:

Owner: You know soon enough, they'll be making our flag without the stars, and just a big swastika in their place.

HUHUHUHUHUHUHH!?!?!  There are so many problems with that statement.

It makes no actual sense.  I guess, if i'm piecing together the tatters of this guys fabric of ignorance, he could be saying that Obama and the government are going to over-regulate our lives to the point of Chinese Communism or Soviet Stalinism.  Neither of these parties, of course, used the swastika to represent themselves, but hey, you see Obama with that mustache enough times that . . . he's probably a Nazi too.

Have we REALLY forgotten what swastika is?!?  I mean, you would think that considering how ubiquitous Nazi and Holocaust references have become in the political arena alone, it should keep the concepts current enough not to get confused with  . .   well . . . anything.   It's a friggin swastika.   Putting it on the American flag would, at this point in history, symbolize our countries commitment to the White race and to eliminating jews, minorities, gays, etc.   Do you think Obama wants to kill the black people in this country!?!  
And even if he WERE . . . how did you get there from "no enormous sodas."  That statement was so stupid that, for one brief moment, by comparison, the ban itself made perfect sense.

All I could say in my brief interaction with this dumb-a-thon was, "I doubt that they'll be trying to kill the jews anytime soon."  And as I turned i continued, "At least I hope not."

In the words of my father, after eating at a particularly awful restaurant, I took a goooood look around. Cause i won't be back there soon.