HEY! You can't hang around here no more.

Sunday, February 28, 2010 | 2 Comment(s)

If I've learned anything about the good things in life, it's that when you're on a roll, don't question it, just go with it.   And so, we have more pictures from the locker room (this is a prelude to the conclusion of the series "The Five People You Meet in the Men's Locker Room").

They have moved me into a larger locker (same locker room) at the gym, and now I have a full 7 ft. of locker at my command.  It's actually quite a luxury after the half-locker.  Today's picture comes from just a few lockers down from mine:
If you can't tell right away from the picture, this guy has decided that even the 7 ft. of space in his locker are not enough for drying his swimsuit.  So he hangs it from the outside of his locker, threaded through the lock.  While you can't tell from this picture, the suit is generally hung liner side out.  This is his bathing suit's constant state.  What I mean to say is, it NEVER goes in the locker.

This, in a few words.  Is fucking disgusting.  For many reasons.

1)  For those around him, we don't want to have to look/happen to graze against the dick-juice side of your dirty bathing suit.  How presumptuous of you to assume that you can just hang your dirty grossness out in the open.  Do you see ANYONE else resorting to that kind of behavior.  No.  Put your friggin pants in your friggin locker.

2)  What is the theory behind your decision to hang your bathing suit out in the open instead of inside the locker.  I can tell you from experience that I manage to get mine dry with a simple wringing and hanging.  Don't want a damp locker?  Do you understand what a locker is?  Do you think that hanging it outside the locker and inside the environment of the greater locker area is cleaner.   The general state of the locker area is already a moldy mossy virus-infected grey.  How can you want your drawers spending MORE time in that.  So.  Much.  Badness.   That sir, is a gross mistake.  Which brings us to 3.

3)  How naive are you to believe that your leaving your cheese encrusted swim shorts out to offend us all isn't going to be met with any retaliation?   I'm not saying it was me (I'm not saying it wasn't, but I'm not saying it was), but I've seen various people drip their wetness on it.   I might have even seen a snot rocket head in it's direction.  Why would you shake your own grossness into it.  It's like a cloth spider web just waiting to be tampered with.   In my dreams I take Ben-Gay to those bad boys (I'd wear gloves for application of course), but the owner has so much back hair already, that I would  feel like I was piling on to his misfortune.

But seriously folks, that nasty.


  1. mmm, i bet they are moist too. *shudder*

  2. they were inside out again today. "some stranger" may have done something he shouldn't have.