Fuck you Bret

Friday, October 8, 2010 | 0 Comment(s)

My eyes are burning.  The back is feeling sore.  Today is not one of the good days.  Today is one of those days where you don't reread your post because you don't care if there are typos.  Today is a day when even your rebellious sentences are just plain wussy.

And you know who im gonna take it out on.  You'll never guess.

Bret fucking Michaels.

Fuck you Bret Michaels.  Fuck you right to hell.  Oh no, not for Poison.  Poison was a revelation.  If you don't like Poison the terrorists win.  You're not an American.

And its not even a "fuck you" for Rock of Love, where you got a whole bunch of *cough* skanky? *cough* women to fawn over you right up to that "soft core porn" line.  All for your journey to love, of course.  And, while i didn't follow the show, i can only imagine you found quite a bit of love during that show. 

Not even for seasons two and three of Rock of Love where you do the whole slutty liquid-filled adventure two more times.  HOW MUCH LOVE DO YOU NEED MAN!!!  If STD's can combine and form a mega-STD, it's in Bret Michaels.

And Bret, I don't even care that you went on Celebrity Apprentice.  Because frankly Bret, I can't even pretend to care about that show, and neither can America. 

And i should take a second here to mention that I heard that you almost died.  That is regrettable.   And I'm not sure what happened, but you must still be close to out of your fucking mind to come out with the piece of shit you call  Bret Michaels: Life As I Know It.  Now my first thought was, "this has to be a docu-drama about him fighting off a number of STD and drug related symptoms."  And I thought, "good for him, teaching our kids to wear condoms."  But sadly, that's not what the show is about.  It's about Bret and his FAMILY!!! I can't stress this enough.  Bret, his wife/gf/ihavenofrigginclue?, and his kids!!!  Little kids.  

Fuck you Bret.  That's too far.  Fuck your Bret with one "t."  Don't slosh around in a cornucopia of women on national t.v. for YEARS and then come at us with "Bret all in the family."  That's gross.  I mean, it's not even that i'm morally opposed to it.  I just can't ingnore the feeling that someone's shitting on me when they put out a show that it so insulting that it feels like it must be shitting on me.  You are not a "family man."  I feel icky seeing you around innocents after seeing what you did with all those others.  

A wise man once said that every rose has its thorn.  Well Bret with one t,  yours is gagging me and i won't Open Up and Say... Ahh! No, I just won't Swallow That.


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