the end of my gf: a love story

Friday, November 5, 2010 | 7 Comment(s)

i've never known, previous to writing an entry, that in writing it, i would actively save myself a ton of time.  Until now.

Many of you who read my blog with some consistency have noticed the "character" of gf often slips her way into being a main character in my blog.  its only because she is also a main character in my life.  i don't use her name because she never asked me to start a blog and share my/our life with everyone who cares to read.  but, for shame, she is my gf no more.

this, my friends, is the story of how i put a ring on it.

from heretoforth, the woman previously referred to as gf, will now be called mmf, which stands for my motherfuckin fiance.  booyah.

halloween is my birthday.  Atrologically speaking, i am a scorpio sun, scorpio moon, and scorpio rising.  the combination of these two things means that i am, essentially, the second coming . . . of satan.  and while i try not to believe in anything that tells me im bad . . . i kinda like it in this case.

either way, for my birthday weekend i told mmf that i wanted to go to boston (where i used to live prior to grad school) to visit my old roommate and my college friends who live in the burbs.  Being that it was my birthday (and riding the fact that last year mmf got super sick right before my birthday) she was totally open to whatever i wanted to do.  I made reservations for friday night at a schmancy restaurant near my old place (where we'd meet my old roommate BC), and we planned to walk it to dinner from there.  On saturday we planned to head out to burbville to have a late brunch with the college peeps and their two little adorable daughters.

the traps were set.

As we left the house for boston that afternoon, mmf realized she left her phone at the house.  i asked if she wanted to go back and get it (we were only 5 min. away at that point).  she said no.  i asked her if she was sure.  she said yes.  i DIDN'T say, "but you're gettting ENGAGED this weekend."  so we left it.

in the car my stomach was getting  . . . . wonky.  before long wonky turned to full out nausea.  we stopped at a rest stop to handle it the old fashion way.  didn't help.  was i REALLY getting physically ill from nerves?  but im not nervous.  i mean, this is the easiest and best decision i've ever made.

im nervous.  turns out even for a "relationship expert," committing one's life to another make me feel like im literally going to poop my pants.  in describing the feeling shortly after the fact, it felt like my stomach was taking a poop in its stomach was taking a poop in its stomach and so on until the end of stomach pain.

When we got to BC's place, mmf went to unpack our stuff in our guest room.  I immediately suggested "birthday shots."

"what do you want to shoot?"

"scotch please."

I then did two (and a half) shots of scotch . . .        solo.

Best two shots of Dewar's White Label that i've ever had.

Men and women--heed my advise on this one--i'm not saying you should get drunk before you propose to someone.  I'm not even saying that marriage is a good or bad thing.  What i'm saying is, that if you do make the decision to propose, and you do get nauseous, and i suspect you will, a few shots reallllllllllly takes the edge off.

*begin tangent* another point of advise.  i'm not quite certain how every person doesn't use their birthday as "engagement bait."  I mean, driving hours and hours, "birthday shots," i'm sold that a birthday as a guise for an engagement ruse is really the way to go.  Downsides?  You get very little birthday.  but honestly, even I (im generally well on the high side of birthday celebration--halloween people!) couldn't get too psyched up for turning 32.  I'm not a Magic Johnson fan, and its just an odd uninspiring number to me.    Upsides?  best. birthday. present. ever. *end tangent*

it was go time.  i checked in with BC, "you got your phone call ready?"

(A short walk from my old place, lies Brookline Lunch--which is not in Brookline [its in cambridge on brookline street]-and is not only for lunch [we ONLY go there for weekend brunch, but its open from breakfast til late lunch].  This is where mmf and i had our first date [she had smiled at me on FRIENDSTER a few months prior--we were taking it slow. {im just now realizing how long we've been together}]  I have been going to Brookline for over a decade, and in that time i have become very friendly with the amazing family that owns and runs it.  When mmf and i were on our first date, in fact, one of my then roommates was our waitress.  So yes, i had called ahead.  The plan was for the three of us to leave the house to go to dinner.  shortly after leaving, BC would get a phone call from work, requiring him to run home and do something for work quickly [trust me, this is totally plausible].  Though i had chosen a very real and conveniently located fake restaurant for us to be going to, mmf never really "investigated it," so i didn't have to worry about walking her a slightly longer way to Central Square.  This route would take us past Brookline Lunch, at which time i would put phase 2 of the plan into action.)  The fake phone-call came, and (in what he would like to consider his acting masterpiece) BC excused himself quickly to fix a work problem.

It was 6 pm.  As we walked up Brookline St., i, candidly, commented that all the buildings looked new to me.  Mmf replied that they probably just looked new because the only time i see them is when im hungover Sunday morning (on the way to Brookline for brunch).  Which prompted me to say, "Wouldn't it be amazing if we could go to Brookline Lunch for my birthday dinner."  She laughed and agreed and lamented the fact that it had closed earlier in the day.

As we neared the restaurant, i saw the first hitch in the plan.  There was some student film crew shooting literally in front of the door.  I know i should have been thinking, "Oh, i don't want to ruin their shot." But what i WAS thinking was, "they better not ruin MY shot!" I improvised.  I took mmf's hand and just kinda walked her into Brookline Lunch.  We were recognized and greeting by the owner/server/mother and i asked her if they were still serving.  As we had rehearsed, she said they were closed (um duh . . . we were the only one's in there) but, for us, no problem.  We sat down at the booth of our first date and ordered coffee.  Mmf figured we were having a cup of coffee and we would wait for BC to catch up.

Our amazing hostess then asked what we'd like to order. (i had already called and told her).  I had the steak and eggs (my usual).  At this point, mmf starting freaking out a little.  Not that something big was coming, but that i was going to be full for our nice dinner (i made her get all dressed up).  She said, "Are you THAT hungry"  She was worried that dinner at BL would ruin dinner at the other restaurant.  She was not onto me yet.  The only think that can explain this (given her surroundings) is that being proposed to happens so rarely, that every piece of her body rejects the idea that it could be happening until she sees someone on bended knee.  I told mmf to order as if she were going to be eating.  She replied, "BC's not coming, is he."  "No, he is not."  She now knew something was up.  She ordered the bacon benedict (i had ordered the spinach benedict for her--close but no cigar). 

Coffee came and i started the love talk.  in sum, i told her that not only is she the most perfect person for me, and not only does she love me in a way that i totally can feel all over, but she is also one of the best human beings i've had the pleasure of time with.  i told her that after our first date, her slightly-to-tight hug was one of the most disarming moments in my life.  and mostly, that i'd love her forever.

and then i stopped talking.  a very pregnant pause.  I was milking it.  I was making her sweat it out.  I was also trying to get the wording of what was going to come next straight in my mind.

(she told me later that when the love talk started she started revving up.  she starting thinking, "holy shit, this is happening."  When i paused, she started thinking, "you idiot mff, it's his birthday, he not proposing during his birthday.")

So here we sat.  My love and I, alone in the brunch place of our first date, in a restaurant that opened late just for us . . . . and the love talk started again.  this time it ended with me sliding out of the booth, onto one knee, and asking her to marry me.  i took out the ring.  I hope that the sparkles would blind her into a quick, "yes."
das ring (greens on left, blues on right)
And now for the best and most important part of this story.  She said yes.  She said it quickly and clearly and before the tears started.  i hugged her.  she hugged me.  i threw my arms up like i was trying to grab the ceiling and yelled to the owners/cook/server/their kids, "She said YES!"  Much merriment. 

She once again realized she had forgotten her phone.  I laughed.  We ate.  We smiled.  We smiled wider.

We went back to BC's place after and drank champagne and played some Wii (it's that fun).  I then tell her that we aren't staying with BC.  Off we go to the Charles Hotel were we have a suite waiting for us.  The bed is heavenly.  We check to make sure.

An hour later i take her out to dessert at Finale in Harvard Square.  We are doing this right.  I get a flight of dessert wines (the "Noble" flight, since they are all wines with grapes with the noble rot.)  they are yummy.  We eat yummy desserts til we are almost comatose.  then back to the hotel.
the noble flight
the next morning we get breakfast in bed (two mornings of it actually--part of the hotel deal i got!)  It is a present to both of us.  It's like magic.  Even if the guy had only brought up a pot of coffee, it still would have been the best thing ever.   We ate and drank and were still in bed.
its made of magic
but we have to get to late brunch in the burbs . . . .

When we arrive, not only were my college friends there, but so were my brother, her sister, my college roommates, her college roommate, a few grad school friends--in short--a friendgasm.  She cried again.  We drank tons more champagne (thanks A&S) and as all different people we love got to know each other, we basked in their presence.

Of note.  At one point we went outside and played a game a few of my peeps came up with (and i named): Remote control zombie tag.  Teams of two.  One with their eyes open, the other person with eyes closed.  Then, essentially the blind one gets told what to do by their partner in order to either tag or avoid being tagged (depending on if you are it).  My partner was Davis.  Davis is a dog.  For the next 30 min or so, i got run (dragged) all over the place, generally exploring trees and shrubs around the yard.  I actually didn't get tagged until Davis made a b-line for one of her owners who happened to have already been tagged.
 Davis the dog. And my zombie remote control.

At one point my college roommate directed my brother to "DIVE" for a tag.  He missed completely, but the hilarity of the event was enough to make BC, my boston roommate, stop directing his charge around the yard.  Subsequently, Andy, mmf's college roommate's husband and BC's zombie charge, ran full speed into a person-sized bush.  What a good sport.  It was that kinda day.  It was the kind of day where you run into shrubbery full speed and don't even care. 

Halloween night.  My birthday.  Instead of going out on the town, we all got into costume and played more wii.  it was wicked fun.  i have zero regrets. 

Cassandra's Skeleton
She's NOT MINE! But i love her.

ps.  No, we don't have a date.


  1. yayyyyyy!!! love you guys! xoxoxo

  2. This will be my first ever comment-posting on your blog. Maybe my first ever on any blog. But I'm so darn happy for you guys and just want to say it in a post-a-comment kind of space. So happy. That's all.

    -Her Herr

  3. omg!!! we love you guys!!!

  4. What an awesome story. Nicely done, and congratulations!! Dennis proposed to me in Central Sq at Rendezvous, just around the corner from Brookline Lunch! Also a little drunk.

  5. @SarahPearl Love.

    @Her Herr. Best nickname ever. Really glad you could be a part of it (and andy obvi)

    @shopgirl the feeling is mutual.

    @Jennie Rendezvous is the restaurant i TOLD her we'd be going to. Hilarious coincidence.

  6. matti, so glad I finally got to know the story. Congratulations and I am so happy for you guys. Can't wait to celebrate in person soon. Love, love love to you both!

  7. wow. you guys rock. congratulations. alex and i will be in the area soon. and we are taking you two out to celebrate.