Fire, Fire on the Water

Sunday, May 30, 2010 | 9 Comment(s)

This oil spill has really got me upset. I know when i start avoiding the internet news on a subject that its worked its way into my consciousness. Between all the elaborate silly names of the possible solutions for stopping the leak ("the top hat", "the top kill", the golf balls and old tire plug) and the unbelievable destruction continuing to pour into the gulf, i think we can all agree on one thing. . . if there is a god, he/she hates Louisiana. (now I don't hate Louisiana--don't get confused). This is a state that has flooded, burned, been looted, and then, the one industry still hanging on by a thread, fishing, gets decimated by the biggest friggin oil spill of all time. All kidding aside, it really is a gruesome scene and my heart goes out to the people just trying to live through the constant shit-storm unleashed upon them.
Is it better or worse that we have a free video feed of the oil gushing out into our ocean?

And then there is BP. The "oh, did we forget to perfect the ol "kill switch" that could have kept this from happening until after the fact. Oopsie. We thought those were "suggested regulations." The BP that hired contractors to do their work for them, and then tried to use that as an excuse for not having culpability for the negative affects of the drilling. Jigga-what? So wait, so if everything had gone according to plan and the oil had gone into barrels, that would have been the contractors' oil first and foremost? Oh, i don't think so. It's your oil. and therefore, its your responsibility.

But on a slightly deeper level, I wonder how the BP execs can live with themselves. I mean its easy to think of CEO's of big companies (especially oil companies) as larger than life super-villain types with a cane, lap-pet, and weird accent--but in truth, they are still human. So here's the question: You, as the BP execs, know that you just led to the destruction and killing of pretty much the entire gulf of mexico. That's a good portion of the earth to destroy. And since these are not, one hopes, super-villains at heart, and therefore world destruction is not (officially) their motivation, how does it feel to be responsible for that much death. Personally, I'm not sure I could handle it. I'm pretty sure I would have a breakdown and get committed or something. I bet when their those exec's moms and dads were raising them, they didn't say, "i sure hope our kid grows up to rape nature and kill wildlife." (Tangential sidenote: female ducks get raped so much [by male ducks not oil execs] that they have a fake vagina that they direct offending duck penises into, to avoid getting pregnant. Cool huh.)

I wonder if, as those CEO's lay their heads down on their down pillows, if they think about how many birds (et al.) they killed in order that they my rest so peacefully. Most of all, i wonder if all of this makes them sad. Not for the money lost, or the PR nightmare--but because of how much destruction they've directly contributed to. Or is the world, to them, collateral damage.
It IS this bad.
and it's still gushing. . .


  1. Both of my following comments are duck related tangents, but let this not take away from how sad I find this whole thing to be. Truthfully, it makes me sick to my stomach to think of it.

    1. This extra duck vagina you speak of--does it have the feelings of its normal functional vagina or is it simply and extra hole?
    2. Remember the saved by the bell episode where Zach saved the oil covered duck and named ( i think its name was becky).

  2. I'm glad that I'm stuck In Yellowstone for a while. I couldn't take looking at the oil spill all morning on CNN. I think the same things you do. They must be human. It must bother them. At least I hope it does.

  3. My 10 year old daughter, who is an aspiring environmentalist/conservationalist has been so legitimately upset. I've never seen a 10 year old so angry about something before in my life. Then she saw the pictures of the dolphins that had washed up on shore...And promptly cried. It was terrible. It IS terrible. And how in the hell are we on DAY 44?!? GEEZE!

  4. @Becky. I'm no biologist, but im gonna say that the second vagina is more extra hole-ish. I'm just not sure that the female orgasm is a huge priority in ducks. And secondly, i remember everything about saved by the bell.

    @Judy. It must.

    @Ms.C I swear to god that sometimes watching Jon Stewart is the only thing that keeps me from believing it me that is crazy--instead of the world.

  5. I'll answer your questions about how oil company execs feel about their personal responsibility and how they can sleep at night, etc.: It doesn't bother them one tiny bit. The fault in your logic lies here: "but in truth, they are still human." Uhh, no. Not even close. You can tell the difference thusly: human beings have a conscience, experience guilt, and are concerned with notions of social justice and responsibility. Corporate executives are not so encumbered. You simply can't get to that position in life if you're weighted down with anything as human as a soul.

    And while it may sound like I'm kidding, I mean it with all my heart. Soulless, inhuman monsters. The *only* thing concerning them about this tragedy is how much it will affect their own personal wealth and status.

  6. Ditto, man, ditto. Love that guy. So I'm assuming you saw the one about solving the problem by switching letters around in the anagram? Because that was 10 minutes of somethin' special from Mr. Stewart THAT day!

  7. I have to hope that some of the execs are devastated, and sorry for the right reasons. Some days, my faith in people just hangs by a thread...

  8. @John I'm not arguing for BP exec's soul, I'm only saying that I don't think they EXPECTED to ruin the gulf of Mexico -- and therefore while screwing people has become second nature, screwing nature may be new for them.

    @Ms.C Every episode that utilized the church choir were also priceless.

    @Supersalwa I guess its important to remember that faith has nothing to do with people, but instead how much hope you have for them.