Panic at the Disco

Saturday, May 1, 2010 | 2 Comment(s)

So last night i scratched off another line on my bucket list as I worked as a bouncer/doorman for a music show at the local coffee shop/bar. I am not one to power trip on such a small amount of authority, and all in all the night was wonderfully uneventful. With an exception.

A guy rolls up, looking about 25, and asks how long I think the band will be playing. I tell him probably til around midnight, and he decides he wants to come in. He pays his five dollars and I ask to see his ID.

When I ask for the ID his entire manner changes from "a guy in control" to "a guy whose just been pantsed." He says to me, "Um . . . ok . . . this is kinda funny but . . . as a joke I put this thing on my driver's license . . ." As he's saying this he pulls out a piece of paper, recognizable as a learner's permit or temporary license. Now, this is already a problem. The city of Amherst, MA is extremely strict in its underage drinking policy (seeing as there are 5 colleges in the area, this does make some practical sense) and they are not above sending undercover agents into bars to try and get alcohol. So, in general, a paper license is already on the "no" side of the spectrum, in term of getting into a bar.

Thankfully, I didn't have to make that call. The "thing" he put on his temporary license was a large-stamp sized sticker of the young Michael Jackson a la Thriller and Bad, which completely covered the space where his digitized picture would be.

That's hilarious

I told him that I obviously couldn't allow that as a valid ID. His response (my favorite part), was to peel back the sticker halfway in an attempt to show me that stuck to the adhesive side of the sticker was the remnants of his digitized face. Surely THAT would be sufficient to be considered photo ID. Um . . . no. He was not thrilled (hehe) to hear that there is no way that a piece of paper, even with the image of the deceased king of pop's black younger self, was getting him into the show.

I only wish we had taken a picture of it. Since I didn't, I'll leave you with this beauty:


  1. Oh. My God. That is hilarious!

  2. I was privy to an interesting ID related scenario recently. While waiting to get into a local establishment to enjoy live music I over heard the three girls in front of me conversing with the doorman.
    "Oh come on, see, look at my ID, I'm 21 next month, can't you just let me in?"
    To which the guy replied, "Umm, no, but we will have another live music event next month, so you can come to that one."
    After a few more pleads she and her friends walked away in apparent disbelief.
    I was *baffled* by this girl. In what world do you live that you envision a bouncer saying, "Oh, you're 21 next month? Sure, come on in, don't worry about it."