The Numbers Game: If you like it then you should put a "follow" on it

Tuesday, March 23, 2010 | 8 Comment(s)

So I have to make a blog confession.  I got caught up in the numbers game.  I'd been tracking my entries (this is #100) and followers (i lost my first follower today--im sure i deserved it *whips himself*), that I lost sight of what this blog is about.  Namely, the writing (ok ok, it's about me).  I've been over-analyzing what to say to make this entry special and really i've been pressing.

So I'll start with this.  Oftentimes, especially when you are reading someone's scrawlings about life the universe and everything, you create a mental perception of that person as someone cool as a cucumber and above petty things like determining his daily self-worth based on how many followers he has.   I am not too cool for school.  I am that petty.  Every time I get a new follower, especially one that I don't see on a daily basis, I am literally honored.  Touched.  When you guys leave comments, I have mini-orgasms.  I feel lucky to have people interested in reading my cranial concoctions.  So, if you're a person who reads but hasn't clicked the "Follow" button over there on the right yet--now's the time.  Remember, the number of followers I have lets me know how good a person I am.

A positive side effect of this blog has been that those people who do know me personally get a chance to still feel connected with what's going on with me, even if we don't get to talk as much as we'd like.  And to these close friends i say, "dudes, why the fuck aren't you already following me!"  And I love you.

And lastly, I feel the need to end my 100th with what's really important to me in the end.  I have been in the unfortunate circumstance of comforting more than one friend this week on the loss of loved ones (fathers and brothers).  Awful.  Also, in juxtaposition, today I read a news article about two sisters, ages 84 and 87, who are suing each other over a 2005 $500,000 lottery ticket.  One sister claims that they had an agreement to share their gambling winnings, while the other said that they had a falling out shortly before the ticket was purchased (don't they always), and it had negated their arraignment.  I'm not going to get into who I think is right because the only thing I feel is that both sister's are fucking idiots.  They are spending their last time on Earth fighting their family in court over green paper, instead of actually living their life.  They have prioritized money over their own lives, and that is about as sad a reality as I can concoct.  If I were the judge in that trial (and let's all be thankful im not), my opening statement would go something like this, "Listen to me you old bitches.  That's right I said bitches.  I want to get your attention.  This lawsuit is dismissed on the grounds of it being absolutely retarded (sorry for the bad word).  It is literally retarding your ability to live your lives.  You are sitting on those wood benches in front of me fading away in this courtroom.  That's idiotic.  Leave.  You've got better things to do."  Granted I'm not sure there are any precedents to support my ruling.  But I can live with that.

What I'm trying to say here is that there is nothing so valuable as the time we are given to live and love. As corny as it may seem, in the end, it is the ultimate truth.  We live on through those we've touched, and our opportunity to imprint ourselves on this world is never guaranteed past the present.  So we've got to make the most of it.  I've never regretted telling those I care about how much they mean to me, and i highly recommend making a habit of it.  I may be writing a blog filled bathroom humor & locker-room characters, but if I were to go tomorrow, my hope is that you would smile and laugh at this blog in my memory--as you read, and reread, upon my untimely demise.


  1. Matt, so many things"
    (1) I'm surprised that someone as (seemingly?) self-assured as you values external validation. I thought that was peculiar to us insecure neurotics.
    (2) I agree with you completely that life is too short to waste it on pointless grudges/
    (3) That said, it might be the case that the elderly ladies aren't so much thinking of themselves as they are thinking of their kids, and leaving them an inheritance. It makes sense to me that both might want to do one last good turn for their descendents.
    (4) It is indeed remarkable how prolific a blogger you've been, especially with all the other demands of grad school and life. My own writing has become constipated by my perfectionistic tendencies--I'll take a cue from you and just *write* without worrying that everything is perfect.
    (5) Your blogging efforts are indeed a wonderful gift of yourself to your friends and family. I look forward to your entries.
    (6) Please don't have an untimely demise--I would miss you.
    (7) You're welcome for the mini-orgasm.


  2. Dude, I'm doing a shameless plug here, I follow you, hence you should follow me.

    And props on the living the life bit. I agree whole-heartedly.

  3. This is the first time I've read your blog and I like it!

  4. "We live on through those we've touched, and our opportunity to imprint ourselves on this world is never guaranteed past the present. "

    1. Get married. 2. Have kids. 3. Imprint yourself on the world forever.

    No better way to than to span and share those crazy Zimbler genes with future generations!!!!! I'm sure the "GF" aka Erin would agree with me. Don't make me hurt you.

    Oh, and if you are so desperate for the number of followers to rise, I can sign-up my wife and kids. Of course the kids can't read yet, which is probably a blessing in this case :)


  5. BTW... for the readers.

  6. so i thought i WAS following you, but it turns out i wasn't. WTF?!

    now fixed. obviously.

  7. @Mel ! <3 U too.

    1) even the confident can care about how other's, who they value, feel.
    4) There is nothing constipated about me.
    6) doing my best every day
    7) I cant wait til your older and your dirty comments get really sketchy. Seriously, can't wait.

    @Midwest Girl. Thanks for calling me on my shit. The problem has been rectified.

    @Shallow/Well (couldn't resist that abbreviation). Welcome and I hope you continue to enjoy.

    @Lefky Seriously man, you are worse than my jewish mother with this kids, marriage, reproduction thing. Do you get a percentage or something. Is there a "Mattitiyahu gets married" pool and your date is coming up?

    @Art. YOU'RE THE ONE THAT LEFT ME!!!! et tu arthur.